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| Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That's the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.
And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You'll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.
And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about. Kafka on the Shore, Haruki Murakami
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it feels good to wholeheartedly believe in something. reckless, selfish, and irresponsible but optimistic, positive and passionate. i've never been so sure of anything and anyone in my entire life.
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goodbye New York. goodbye summer. goodbye xanga. | | |
| last weekend was our final weekend at the house, which coincided nicely with adam's birthday on Saturday. we started the weekend off with a delicious dinner at Vics, our favorite hangout in Bradley that has the best tomato pies and tossed salad you've ever tasted. anne and i spent all day Saturday at the beach, where we got abused by the gigantic waves that would throw you in the air, drag you along the sea bottom, and toss and turn you around in its current. it was OOSOME. when i got back from the beach, the birthday bbq was already happenning and sara and doug arrived with quality meats, handmade guac/salsa, and a huge vat of cheeseballs.
i don't remember much else afterwards, except sara and i were amazing at beerpong, we made adam take off his pants, and we went to 2 bars with 30 people in tow and i spent the rest of the night stumbling around. the 2nd bar we went to played music that sounded like un'tsu- un'tsu and had a badass fog machine that was so strong i couldn't see either Lynn or Anne for a few minutes, and then they unleashed the FOAM MACHINE. the weekend and our summer share ended with an unconfirmed threesome in our 3rd bedroom that night-- HOLLA! thank you- our house would have been worthless without some hanky panky. | | |
| first weekend of bad weather, so after a delicious breakfast at IHOP, we decided to hit the blender and start off the afternoon with some margaritas. polishing off a quick magnum of tequila and a dozen beers, we played 2-square and indoor games until we saw the sun come through the clouds. we packed up our margs and beers (into my Coors Light cooler!! SO OOSOME) and moved to the lake for a game of drunken whiffle ball. never thought as a kid that i would be playing the same games 20 years later, drunk and barefoot in the middle of an afternoon, shouting "CAR!!" to let them pass by us on the street. by 6pm, we were wasted and at the Parker House, the quintessential Jersey hangout where the guys played a competitive game of shuffle board and the girls.. well, we drank some more. and danced. if last weekend we were sorority girls, this weekend i felt like i was in a frat. OOSOOME.
it's been interesting recapping my Jersey Shore weekends, as i get darker and darker and more wasted and more wasted with every weekend. it's been so much fun having friends come and hang out- aya, brig, rosie, yuki, nat, ian and hanging out with the share girls lynn, miryam, kristen and darcy. this upcoming weekend, annigan is my guest!! it's the last weekend at our house and we are going to have a party. expect lots of party hats. | | |
| another beautiful weekend at the beach, and this time, it was the 5 of us in the share plus Nat who is visiting from HK. it is always a bit strange how i ended up with so many girlfriends in NY (most likely the barnard factor) but these pictures make me feel like i'm in a sorority. and we partied like we are in a sorority, living in a house together at some boonie school. we woke up on Sunday morning with gigantic hangovers, faint memories of magnums of wine, chasing after the icecream truck, hips not lying, aloe fights and aloe sandwiches, water fights and tennis ball fights, and playing drinking games where if you puked, you had to take another shot no sympathies. if columbia had sororities like this, it would have been a much better place to go to school. we also ran into major problems on the grill- very cliche- when the charcoal wouldn't catch on fire or when there was tons of smoke but no fire.
i also moved into my Williamsburg apartment this past weekend.. with a new friend. Max, you may be the love of my life. watching you sleep makes my heart do things i've never felt it do before. no matter how puffy my eyes get, i want you to be near by. | | |
| for some reason, being part of a summer share makes me feel like i've reached new heights of adulthood. i know a good proposition when i hear one, and spending the entire month of July at the shore sounded like a good alternative to spending it at a bar. when we came to look at this house back in March, i had no idea what it was going to be like during the summer, but it really could not have been any more damn perfect. the house is a 5-10min walk to the beach along a lake, in a little beach town in New Jersey. there are people taking walks along the boardwalk or the water, kids rollerblading and skateboarding along the lake, and couples having dinner on their porches. we grill every night, drink beers, and spend the day at the beach without a care in the world. i'm out of the city by Thursday night every week, not returning until sun and beach has made me a better person. | | |
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